So . . . once again that reminder of my mortality has come around. That's right, today is my birthday, and I get to celebrate the accomplishment of remaining alive for another year with cake, presents (I got a Kindle!) and festivities. Of course, no celebration would be complete without something to sully it, the way the bitter has to go with the sweet and the Oates has to come with the Hall (I figure my birthday is as good a time as any to date myself). And the dark mark on my birthday is, as it always is, the Happy Birthday song.
Come on, it's a terrible song. I hate hearing it, I hate singing it, and even its childish variations are wearing thin (and you smell like one, too). I lambasted the writing of the Rebecca Black song "Friday" and yet it is fair to say that Friday is a far, far superior song to Happy Birthday. Which is not saying much, sure, but does put things in perspective.
It is believed to be the most recognized song on the planet, with over a dozen translations. I'm sorry, but in my mind this does not bolster its credentials as a good song. It just means that it simple enough for anyone to sing, and has spread over the globe like a rogue strain of bacteria that ought to be eradicated.
It is also an extremely profitable song, pulling in five to ten grand every time it is performed in public, on TV, or in a movie. Warner Music (which owns the rights to Happy Birthday To You) rakes in a couple million bucks per year from that song. The song's copyright status is currently in dispute, but it is believed to be protected through about 2030, when the restricition will be lifted and we'll be able to publicly belt it out to our heart's content (oh what joyous day that will be).
But really, is it necessary to include the song in a movie? No one would ever walk out of a movie and say "Overall it was great, but I totally didn't buy that they didn't sing Happy Birthday at the party. So I'm going to tell everyone not to see it." (Aside: I kind of feel the same way about those recognizable supporting actors you find in movies, also known as "that guy." Like William Fichtner, Paul Gleason, or the late, great J.T. Walsh. I love "that guy," but is it worth paying a quasi-recognizable actor extra or does it make more sense to get a cheaper unknown for a minor role? Do people go to see movies because Veronica Cartwright or Ted Levine are in them?). If it doesn't add to the movie, don't pay to put it in.
Two bad memories of the Happy Birthday song: at summer camp, we were made to audition for the camp musical by singing the song. What brain-dead, tone-deaf director would ever think to judge singing ability using such a non-melodic ditty? Great, everyone can showcase their five-note range. The other memory is from a Blue Jays game I attended a few years ago, where a kid behind me was singing "Happy Birthday, Coca-Cola" over and over again. For three hours. Maybe this has something to do with my opinion of the song (and, perhaps, of Coca-Cola).
So now it seems that I've managed to speak out against the following in my blog: the Happy Birthday song, non-traditional pizza, pandas, recycling, the role of effort in sports, and Christmas, amongst many others. It seems I'm just trying to burnish my old-crank credentials in honour of my aging.
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