Friday, October 15, 2010

Curse These Young Whippersnappers!

So . . . I correspond a lot with people born after 1990 (no, that doesn't sound creepy at all!) because I teach in a university.  Nary a day goes by without some e-mails from my students, and it is very distressing.  I know I'm far from the first (or last) person to complain about this, but those young people today don't know how to write a message.  Whether this is caused by the popularity of texting and acronyms (with LOL and its descendants being pet peeves of mine) or the decline of proper English in general, it's a damn shame.  A lesson in e-mail writing after the jump.

What is most shocking to me is when students are writing to me to ask me for something (e.g. a job, a better grade, etc.) and can't even be bothered to write a decent e-mail.  Over the past few weeks the students have been handing in assignments via e-mail, and 30% or more have had no text in the e-mail.  They send the attachment alone, and can't even make the effort to write a one-line e-mail.  Given that my university uses a random collection of numbers and letters to comprise each student's e-mail address, I receive these e-mails and don't even know who they are from.

So let's start at the beginning.

Salutation: include one.  Include one that is appropriate for the situation and the recipient of the e-mail.  So if  you are writing me, don't start with "Hey Prof" or "Eric:".  No, I don't think I'm better than you (well . . . no, let's stick with what I wrote), but that doesn't mean I am not deserving of a modicum of respectfulness in your correspondence.  It doesn't have to be "My Dearest Professor" (and frankly, that would be weird); in fact, you dont' have to include "Dear" at all - it's too formal and when you think about it, what proportion of your e-mails are sent to someone who is dear to you?  How about "Hi Professor" or "Hi Dr. Dolansky"?  Just put something appropriate.  And no, my name is not spelled Dolanksy.  Then again, it sometimes happens that students misspell their own names, so I guess asking them to get mine right is tough.

Body of the e-mail: include one.  Explain why you are writing.  Briefly.  Let me know if it's going to be a long e-mail and why.  Structure it in a way that you would want to read.  For example, if you have a question about the assignment, don't just have the following as the entire body of your e-mail: "In the ABC case, what should the alternatives be?"  How about, "I have a question about the case in the assignment.  In the ABC case . . ."  Don't assume I know what you're talking about - it may sound odd, but the assignment you're working on isn't necessarily at the top of my mind. 

If you have included an attachment, refer to it (and attach it!  Though I am as bad as anyone in this regard).  If the entire purpose of your e-mail is to send the attachment, have at least one line of text in your e-mail, especially if you are, for example, applying for a job.  Yes, it has happened that I received an application with no text in the e-mail (and no, they did not get the job). 

And, for the love of god, write in proper English.  You know those funny marks on some of the keys of your keyboard?  They're called punctuation marks.  Use them.  And guess what?  If you press the "shift" key while typing a letter, you get something called a capital letter.  They go at the beginning of sentences.  I know I sound like an old codger when I rant like this, but it's not like doing this is difficult.

Closing: include one.  And if you're asking for something, maybe signing off with "Thanks," (or some derivation) is a good idea.  "Sincerely" still works, assuming you're sincere, or "Cheers" or "Peace out, G".  And please . . . please . . . please!  Sign your name!  I know that for lots of e-mails it says in the "sender" line who you are, but so what?  Put it there anyway.  Consider it personal brand exposure.

I don't think I'm asking too much.  And you'll come off as being much more professional.  And, btw, the last thing you want is for the recipient to lol because of your mistakes, imo.  lmao.

No comments:

Post a Comment