Friday, January 14, 2011

Star-Gazing

So . . . in the past twelve hours I have seen a furor erupt on news sites and facebook and blogs, as people's very identities are being torn from them.  It seems that (brace yourself) we have gotten astrology wrong, we aren't the signs we think we are, and there is a new, thirteenth sign with a funny name.  I feel so betrayed.  Here I thought for my whole life that I was a Gemini, and it seems that instead I am a Taurus.  I guess I'll have to stop being two-faced and start being stubborn.  More sarcasm and derision after the jump.

The whole zodiac thing came about because of the findings of the Minnesota Planetarium Society, which announced that because of the precession of the earth (how it wobbles on it's axis - though I've never thought of the earth as "wobbly"), the dates we have for astrology are not the same as when they were first determined millenia ago.  There are new dates, and a handy new sign, Ophuchicus the Snake Holder (which sounds like the title of either a Nicolas Cage movie or a porno).  Of course, this is all for naught, because astrology is horse-doody, but it's even more for naught than that, because this change doesn't even change the "Western" astrology that most of us follow, as detailed here

The part of this that caught my attention, however, is how people are reacting to the news that their star sign might have changed (if you thought I was going to say it was that major news sources are devoting space to this crap, you're wrong, because it's crap that clearly interests a lot of people).  People are planning on removing or changing their tattoos to reflect the change.  They are questioning their very selves in light of this news.  Which is ridiculous.  It points to the vague and meaningless nature of astrology (a dead horse I've beaten before) that the personality descriptions and predicitions can fit anyone, even if you have to change your sign on short notice.  But it also points to how we construe our own personalities and our desperate desire to believe in something otherworldly.

There is an episode of King of the Hill where the main character, Hank, finds out that he is not a native Texan (as he had assumed all his life) but rather was born in New York.  This sends him into a tailspin, as he begins to doubt who his is and whether he knows himself at all.  Of course, this is a television show, played for laughs, and created by Mike Judge, who has no shortage of contempt for human foibles (he directed Office Space and Idiocracy).  Hank isn't any different than he was before he learned that he was born in New York, but that knowledge affects how he views himself.  Just like people who are dealing with the fact that they're Ophuchicuses right now.

Would you suddenly be a different person if you discovered that you were born into a different religion, or in an neighbouring state, province or country?  New information alone about your origin, or in this case, your astrological symbol, does not impact who you are (note that this is different than whether you would be a different person if you had known all of your life or if you were always a different religion or nationality - of course that would impact personality).   

Because so many people want to believe that there is magic in the world, however, then it is natural that they are a different person if their zodiac sign has changed.  This is why people buy into psychics, or rituals for preparing for exams (other than studying), or lucky streaks at the roulette wheel.  Or, for that matter, junk like Croatian healer/calmer/meditation-aider Braco the Gazer (not to be confused with Croatian cow Braco the Grazer).  Basically, you pay eight bucks to go and sit and get gazed at by Braco.  And apparently it has healing effects, brings you peace, and solves all of your problems (one of his videos here and a news item about him here). 

I think that Braco is brilliant, for several reasons.  First, he doesn't talk, so he can't say anything to mess up his sweet gig (you do the math: $8 per person, sometimes up to 10,000 people a day).  Second, he has another person run the sessions and he just does his gazing thing, so it's less work for him and keeps his mystique intact.  Third, he makes no claims other than that they will be gazed upon.  The MC takes pains to mention that he would not describe himself as a healer, hence no fraud committed.  Last, and most important, the thing is bound to succeed.  You have a bunch of people who want to believe, standing still and staring for a few minutes.  I have little doubt that if I could convince people that lying down and staring at a special image stuck on their ceiling (special image sticker is $19.99 plus S+H) for ten minutes would make them feel better, I bet it would.  The combination of relaxation and belief results in, well, results, or at least the perception of them.

Personally I think that Braco is doing more than talking when in private - I bet he's laughing his ass off.  And I don't think his followers are crazy for believing that they felt something, because they did feel something.  They just don't believe that it came from their own desire to believe.  The same way that stigmata has been shown to originate in the believer's own mind (hence the appearance of stigmata on the hands when the person has icons where Jesus has holes in his hands, and stigmata on the wrists when the icons have the nailholes in the wrists), Braco's followers do the heavy lifting. 

But of course I would stick to that belief, now being a stubborn Taurus.

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