So . . . I got a (rather severe) haircut last week, and of course that got me thinking about Dimitri Mendeleev. You know, the guy who came up with the periodic table of elements. No, not because my hair is comprised of carbon and trace elements of the various minerals in my system (come back, zinc!), but because of his odd grooming habits.
I read a great book a few years ago (A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson - fascinating and a very easy read) that touched on the various biological and physical sciences. In the section on the periodic table there were the usual praises for Mendeleev's genius in not only classifying the known elements at the time but also anticipating those elements not yet discovered. There was also the factoid that Mendeleev would only cut his hair and beard once a year, when he would have both off completely. I think this is awesome.
(Aside #1: my favorite elements are the four named after Ytterby, Sweden, which is where they were first found - Ytterbium, Erbium, Ytrium, and Terbium. I have never seen or held them, know very little about them or their properties, but think it's cool that one small Sweden town has four namesake elements and the landmark scientists Einstein, Rutherford, Bohr, and Mendeleev himself each only have one. Suck it, science nerds.)
Personally, I hate going to the barber, and it's not because I'm still afraid of the clippers they use around my neck. I hate the time it takes, the forced small talk with the barber, the outdated magazines, and the smell of barbicide, blow-dryer-heated hair, and cheap cologne. I know people who go for the full wash and head massage, two-hour beautifying extravaganzas that would drive me nuts. I just want a quick and inexpensive haircut. And I got that at the new barber I went to last week, though their definition of #5 clippers is a little different than my previous barber (hence the severity of my new do, which makes me look like one of the recruits about 30 seconds into Full Metal Jacket).
So I really admire Mendeleev's stand against the barbering arts and just going simply. But some elements (ha!) of his routine still don't make sense about it to me. For example, the only pictures or portraits of him are with long hair, supposedly because he much preferred his appearance with locks than without. If this was the case, why not just take a scissors and chop off the excess amount every year instead of the full cue-ball? Did he bemoan his annual chop or look forward to the clean and fresh feeling it provided annually (though "clean and fresh" must be used loosely, given the infrequency of bathing in that age)? Did his wife like his hair better long or short? And finally, was he okay with the shave because his head was just as exquisitely shaped as Bruce Willis's?
(Aside #2: My head is not exquisitely shaped, because I have a dent in my head from when I fractured my skull as a child. So not only does that lead to many "that explains a lot" jokes, but I also better not go bald or I'll have a new nickname like "dent-head.")
I don't think I'll ever have the balls (or patience with long hair) to just go ahead and do annual clear-cutting, but I do like the idea. Though I also hope that should by some twist of fate I do something as worthy of remembering as the periodic table, that future people like me won't know more about my haircut schedule than my meaningful accomplishments.
It's kind of like General Tso (of chicken fame); he was actually a brilliant general who served with distinction and protected China through many incursions and uprisings. But we only know for the chicken dish that at best he was tangentially connected with (and possibly not at all).
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