Drinking the Apple-Flavoured Kool-Aid

So . . . we have been having problems with our desktop computer at home.  Usual types of complaints - it's slow, it freezes up, wireless stuff doesn't work well, it totally erased my blueprints for that talking hippo robot that's going to be the hot toy this December.  As a result, we're looking for a new computer and are thinking of getting a Mac.  Not just because I want to be more like the laid-back hip guy in the commercials (of course, doing so would mean that I have to stop using the term "hip"), but because people seem to like them and once they switch to Apple they never look back.

But that phrase is an example of the core (ha ha) of the problem.  You see, in the past week I have been to two different Apple stores.  And in both places, the salesperson said that they were a PC user for years, and then switched to Mac and have never looked back.  Same wording and everything.  Then I looked at some online fora and found that phrase over and over again.  And I have come to the conclusion that there is something insidious going on here. 

I have suspected that Apple was actually a cult for quite some time.  In the advertising course I teach I assign an ad critique.  Several students each year choose to critique Apple ads, but the funny thing is, they never have anything critical to say.  I have more recently specifically instructed the students to include both positive and negative points in their critique, and cite the Apple examples in the explanation of the assignment.  And I still get 100% positive reviews of Apple's advertising.

Have you been to an Apple store?  It's full of young, hip (there's that word again, I should use something more contemporary -  how about groovy?) people in vast quantities ready to help you "join the dark side" (as the online comments consistently refer to switching to Apple).  They wear matching shirts (which is fine, after all, they do all work in the same store) and are all smiles.  I do have to commend Messianic Cult Leader Jobs on his training of his employees - not only are there enough staff to help you, but they also try to be helpful.  And they all say the same things the same way. 

One of the services they offer (for a fee) is for you to come once a week and be educated about your computer.  Re-education?  Cult.  Constant visits? Cult.  Paying for the priviledge?  Cult.  One of the followers, er, employees I spoke to promoted a feature on iPhoto (jargon and terminology that is consistent and exclusive? iCult.) that recognizes faces in all of your photos, so if you want to group pics by who is in them it will do that through facial recogniation software.  Yes, Apple, I want you to not only have access to all of my information and communications, but also know what I look like.  I feel an urge to wear a black long-sleeve t-shirt and jeans already.

I am reaching, of course, but it still has a quasi-religious feel to it.  Like it or not, our computing devices are pretty much our most regularly-present companion and the entity that we spend the most time with.  If you want to control the world, there are worse ways you could go about doing it.

Anyway, I think we're going with the Mac, so if you see me on the street and I either don't recognize you (or have cut you off from my life because you are not a Mac user) or start to tell you about how great life is since I got my new computer, understand that I am simply brainwashed.  And hopefully I won't just do this.