I Like My Movies Flat and Without Depth

So . . . I heard on the radio yesterday that the official policy of Hollywood (set at their last meeting, I guess) is that all big summer blockbusters now must be released in 3D. So all of next summer’s big films like Harry Potter, Transformers, and Pirates be 3D. Which sucks.

I have seen three movies so far that use this new 3-D technology: Journey to the Center of the Earth, Avatar, and Alice in Wonderland. Only the last was what I would consider to be a decent movie, and I found that the 3D took away from the experience. Avatar was really crappy, but looked really pretty, but it’s likely that it could have looked as great without the 3D; it was the lush backgrounds and imaginative creatures that provided its aesthetic appeal. Journey was just bad.

Haven’t we gone down the 3D path before? Several times, like in the fifties and seventies? Never caught on then. Hope it doesn’t catch on now. It’s distracting, fuzzy, and annoying. I don’t want to wear glasses to watch a movie – that’s why I got laser eye surgery 12 years ago.

Are movies so visually lacking that we need an ersatz third dimension? We’ve done pretty well over the past century in creating stimulating and inspiring images. I think the marginal gain on making a good movie into a 3D one is small – if you have a fun, summer blockbuster (e.g. Iron Man, Dark Knight), how much would it be improved by making it 3D? I see the upside being much smaller than the potential downside. And don’t even get me started on 3D TV.

The biggest issue with 3D, though, isn’t even its lack of true (or even clear) 3D visuals. It’s that 3D is now yet another excuse for making bad movies that people will flock to see. It used to be just special effects alone could draw people to the theatre, no matter how lousy the story, acting, or characters were (see: Twister, Independence Day, anything by Michael Bay). Then people started catching on a bit more, until we went in for digital effects (the main culprit, other than George Lucas’s ego, as to why the Star Wars prequels weren’t all they could have been). Now it’s 3D. So these new technologies are making filmmakers lazy and audiences apathetic.

But even that isn’t the primary motivation for why Hollywood is insisting on all of its major releases being 3D. It’s money. Tickets to 3D movies are more expensive, so only releasing 3D movies gives the distributors and exhibitors license to implement a de facto 50% ticket-price hike. And we, the dummies that we are, will go along with it.

So, if you have the choice, don’t go along with it. Pick the non-3D option and don’t pay the extra. Because the only way the message will get across is through the cash flow (or lack of it). I don’t actually think this will work (I’m not the type of person to take part in boycotts), but at least you won’t have to wear the glasses.