Let the Pandas Die Off Already

So . . . I like panda bears, I think they’re cute and all. I have no personal vendetta against them and do not have a bad panda experience in my past. But I’d like to tell you a few facts about pandas that might make you feel differently about them.

Adult pandas eat about 20-30 pounds of bamboo shoots a day. They only eat the tender new-growth leaves, not the stalks (which are far more abundant than the leaves), because the leaves have higher protein content (though not a high protein content, which is why they eat so much). Pandas need a lot of protein, because they are naturally carnivores. Unlike most carnivores, however, they don’t eat a lot of meat.

When meat is available, they’ll eat it; but in general, they would rather forage for lots of bamboo leaves then hunt prey. In this way they are rather lazy and lackadaisical. Young pandas nurse for quite a while, robbing the mother of whatever protein stores she may have and making survival of the young difficult.

Furthermore, there aren’t that many young, because pandas don’t seem to enjoy mating.

So here you have a species that is highly inefficient with its resources and doesn’t readily reproduce. It’s no surprise that there are fewer than 3000 pandas left in the wild. Yet we seem to want to keep this species going for some reason.

This is not a species that has dwindled in number because it lost its habitat, or deforestation, or hunting; this is just a sucky species. It is not designed for long-term survival – in fact, pandas pretty much do everything wrong, survival-wise. Lots of species go extinct, and not all of them at the hands of humans. It is likely that even if homo erectus never came along, pandas would still go extinct. So lets stop trying to play god.

We like to think of ourselves as custodians of the earth and its creatures, but in reality we have no clue what we’re doing. We decry the negative effects of our actions, but we don’t really understand them – so why do we think we can understand the so-called positive actions? We’re all for species extinction when it comes to polio and smallpox, attempting to wipe them out of existence (or at least trying), but when nature tries to kill off a species, we fight it. I’m not saying we should load up the guns and go a-huntin’ panda, but let’s not force them to stay at the party, either.

So don’t save the panda. Go to a zoo and see one while they’re still around. Take pictures to show your grandkids when they ask what a panda was.